French Imperialism in Indochina

Two weeks ago in my history class, there was a project on Imperialism. I was in a group with Elaine, Priscilla, and Grant. We wanted to do British Imperialism in China, but another group got it before us. I was running up to the teacher to the get that topic, but I was not fast enough and before we could decide on our second choice, all the easier topics were already taken. In the end, we had to do French Imperialism in Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam. I was really frustrated because there wasn't much information in the history books on it.

For the project, each group had to present ten components of their topic. It could be on a poster board or for creativeness, it could be on a 3-D object. The topics include a time line, cause and effect chart, top 10 reasons for colonization,etc. I did the cause and effect chart, showed what Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam had that France wanted, a report on the current problems of the region, and I also made a mini pagoda to display the info.

Through this project, I was able to learn a lot about imperialism. In the early 1900s, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam were known as Indochina. The reason that the French wanted this region was because they wanted control of more land; they wanted to rival their enemy, Britain. Also, they wanted valuable resources such as rubber, rice, cotton, oil, and timber that was abundant in the region. With control of Vietnam, they would be able to secure a route to trade with Inner China. The event that sparked the invasion of France into Vietnam was when the Vietnamese killed French missionaries. They killed them because they felt threatened by foreign influence.

The French took over the region and forced them to trade with them. Knowing that what they were doing were wrong,the French tried to back up their actions by using the idea of Social Darwinism. Because of nationalistic values, they believed that they were superior to other ethnicities. They claimed that they were doing a good thing by imposing their "superior" culture and beliefs on the people of Indochina.

The most tiring part of the project was making the pagoda. Luckily, I had access to a cardboard cutter. That was able to save hours of time. I stayed up til 2AM working on it, making sure that it looked realistic and that the pieces were the right size. I was so tired that I woke up late and missed 0 period PE. Priscilla, also tried to make one, but in the end, we used mines. I felt kind of bad because she worked harder that me on it; she stayed up til 4AM and she also started making it a day before me. Also ,she had to buy the Styrofoam materials and it must have been tiring cutting it with scissors.The hard work was worth it though. Our project got a 225/200, so we all got extra credit.

Between God and Secular Ways

I clearly remember a youth winter retreat to Sierra House, a building owned by Gracepoint Fellowship Church, a church that I used to attend. The retreat took place in the beginning of the February of 2009. During that trip, I made a decision that would change the course of my life in a way greater than I could have ever imagined. I had attended church for five years, but I never made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Being one of the only non-Christians in the youth group, I felt isolated and I was unable to relate to others. I knew deep down in my heart that God existed and that he loved me very much; I felt God's love for me through the love that I received from my youth teachers. My specific youth teacher was Teacher Mina. I knew that she really cared about me; she would give me rides to bible study and back home, prayed for me, talked to me when I had problems, and also hung out with me. The type of people that I met at Gracepoint proved the existence of a God. Nowhere else had I ever met such genuine people; they choose to put others needs over theirs.

Being convicted by the messages that I heard, I really wanted to establish a personal relationship with God. There was one thing that acted as a barrier between me and God though; I failed to confess my sins to others. I knew that if I confessed my wrongdoings, I would face rejection and be viewed as a freak. I questioned myself which was more important, my short life on this earth or my eternity after death. I tried to convince myself that this life was umimportant compared to eternity and that confessing my sins would release of my painful burden of guilt. No matter how much I argued in my head, the result was always the same. I knew that confessing would change my life for the better, but I was too afraid. I felt utterly helpless: stuck at a fork in the road. In the previous years that I went to church, I never really thought of the seriousness of my sins; I knew that I did bad things, but I never thought of it as a big deal. In the beginning, I only went to church to have fun and to pass my Sundays. Once I transferred from Joyland to youth, I started reflecting more on my life. T. Mina had talked to me on a previous retreat. She told me that I would really experience god work in my life if I would only open up my heart. She even said that she wished that she could take my burden for me. But, she couldn't. I knew on the last night of the retreat that I could not stay in indecision. I chose not to go to church anymore and push God out of my life. I was too cowardly to tell T.Mina in person, so I asked my friend to tell her for me.

I still do not know whether I made that right decision or not. Almost every single day, I still think about God. I think that now I have fallen into a state of depression. I feel as if my life has no meaning anymore; I feel as though I am just waiting for the days to pass until I die. I have developed bad habits of overeating, isolating myself, insomnia, and not doing my homework sometimes. I have lost interest in materialistic things; I have cleaned out a large portion of my room and it is almost completely empty now. I try to smile when I talk to others, but I know that inside, I'm not really as happy as I appear to be. I have come to realize how fake my pretense in being happy is. Being overwhelmed in guilt and self-pity, I always wish that somehow I would lose all my bad memories. I said that I made a decision to abandon the Christian values that I learned at church, but I feel as if I am still in indecision. I still have a tinge of hope that miraculously one day I will be a real Christian, but I know that it will NEVER happen.

Four Day Weekend

On Friday, I went to swim practice in the morning from 9 to 12. That was NOT fun. I wasn't able to sleep in and practice was horrible. During the first hour, we went to the old gym and did core exercises, push-ups, jumping hacks, stretches, run in place, etc. It was so painful and made my body sore. After swim practice, I walked home with Shuying. While I was cooking, I got a call from Michelle. I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT SHE WAS GONNA PICK ME UP FROM SWIMMING. I had to say sorry a lot of times since she was kind of upset. She had waited outside of the Emma Hood pool with her brother for me and found out that I left earlier from Tabby. I told her that I would walk to her place after I ate lunch.

Later on, Michelle, her brother, Marben, and I walked to South Shore. We went to Panera Bread and Chipotle. Michelle had a salad and a Panini while her brother had tacos. Even though I ate already, I still finished a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread by myself. It was an interesting trip to South Shore because we saw these certain people. We saw four people that Michelle liked. Also, while we were walking I saw a spider crawling on the ground and started screaming. We ran across the street in fear. My screaming provoked a dog on the block.

The rest of my break was really boring. My Sunday was kind of pathetic because I didn't do anything for Chinese New Year. I thought that I would at least have dinner with my relatives, but I didn't. I was disappointed that I didn't get any "lucky" money. I spent the whole day at home on the computer and snacking on cookies.

SWIMMING

Yesterday, was the first day of the tryouts for swimming. I can't believe that it is already February; this school year is going by so fast. I felt like tennis season just ended. When I was walking to swimming practice with Shuying, I passed by the tennis courts and I saw the boys' tennis team tryouts. It made me nostalgic and eager to play tennis again. I was not looking forward to swimming ever since they announced the informational meetings during the announcements. It made me recall some painful experiences from swimming last year. It was painful getting into the swimming pool when the water was freezing cold. Diving was horrible; I always did a belly flop and was so scared to try again. When I was swimming, water got into my nose. Also, I was slow while swimming during the meets.

The tryouts for last years JVB and the newcomers were from 5:00 to 6:00 P.M. When it was starting, the Varsity and last year's JVA were getting out of the pool. There were so many people doing swimming this year; someone told me that there were about 75 girls trying out. It actually turned out to be better than I expected though. I actually had a lot of fun. It was probably because alot of my friends tried out too. I was able to swim with Jenny, Amanda Huang, Amanda Ha, Grace, Yi Qin, and Shuying. We practiced kicking with the board, dolphin kick, breaststroke, and freestyle. I was tired after the first lap in the small pool. I had become so unfit.

Practice ended a little early. After showering, there was a meeting. Then, Shuying's dad drove me home despite my insisting to walk. Today the practice starts right afterschool. I really see that being part of the swim team last year, I was able to improve in my swimming. I now swim faster and my technique is a little better. I hope for the best for the coming season.

Detetive Conan

Recently, I have been watching this anime series called Detective Conan that consists of over four hundred episodes and it is still currently airing. The plot of this series is a teen detective named Jimmy Kudo, who gets shrunken into a little boy due to a poisonous drug given to him by mysterious men in black. He takes the alias Conan Edogawa in order to protect those around him in case the men found out that he didn't die, but instead, reverted back into childhood. He solves crimes in hopes that he might find a lead to the men in black and get his old body back. His motto is "with a keen eye for details, one truth prevails".

This is a series full of suspense and horror like all other shows that investigate murder. It is amazing how he solves crimes with the little information he finds. Since people don't take a child seriously, Conan always has to knock out another person (usually Detective Moore) with his watch that shoots out needles. He then uses his bowtie that can change his choice to make it appear as if that other person solved the crime when he was the one behind pulling the strings.

I find Detective Conan to be very similar to other crime solving mysteries such as Murder She Wrote; the only differences are that Detective Conan is not gory and it’s a cartoon. Whenever, I watch it, I always try to guess who the murderer is, but I am always wrong. I have noticed a pattern though; I noticed that most of the time the murderer is the person that appears to be the most innocent. So far I am only on episode 83 even after so many weeks. I wonder how long it will take for me to catch up and be in sync with the most recent episode. There are also a lot of Detective Conan movies that I have not yet watched.

Las Meninas

For my blog post this week, I intend to give my interpretation of this piece of artwork. I remember seeing this painting for the first time in art class last year. This amazing masterpiece, Las Meninas, was done by Diego Velazquez in 1656. Here's the interpretation that I had last year. I think that the little girl that is the center of attention is a princess since she is dressed in elegant clothing fit for royalty. She is obviously very significant since she is the most radiant in the picture. The other girls in her picture might be her sisters. They are possibly preparing for some type of special occasion.

Velasquez is a very creative artist. If you look in the background, you can see what appears to be a painting on the wall. However, appearances can be deceptive. I think that the "picture" is really a mirror since it stands out among the other paintings on the wall. In the mirror, you can see a man and a woman in the background, most likely the little girl's parents. Velasquez is trying to make the spectator of the artwork feel as if they are in the scene; he makes you think that it is actually your reflection in the mirror. Also, he must have a sense of self-importance since the painter in the background is Velasquez himself. He also uses bright colors to draw the onlooker to the bottom half of the painting where all the activity is taking place.

Back then, I did not know the meaning Las Meninas. I just used a Spanish English translator and I found out that it means the maids of honor. So, my new interpretation of what is happening is that the man and the woman in the mirror are a bride and a groom. The little girls are the maids of honor for their wedding. They are possibly in a church which is why there is a nun. Artwork is a subject with no wrong answers for interpretation. Everyone interprets it in a different and creative way.

English Final

What have you learned from your struggle with writer's block? Why do you tend to get stuck? How do you tend to get unstuck? Notice any patterns?

Through my struggle with writer's block, I have learned that it is something that can be conquered to an extent. I feel as though I am getting unstuck less now due to all the practice that I have been having these past months with the blog postings. When I first started blogging, I thought it was a drag because I felt like I had to think really hard to meet the three hundred word criteria and I was annoyed when I had only two hundred something words. In my recent posts, I have been surpassing the four hundred word maximum criteria and had to delete some of my writing. In one of my recent posts, the posting about my winter break, I remember clearly of seeing the four hundred something word count. While I was looking through my blog, I noticed that in my posting about Thanksgiving break, I was able to write four organized paragraphs. Even as I am doing this final right now, I am feeling like I am not thinking so hard. I tend to get stuck when writing because I simply cannot think of anything else to say related to my topic. Sometimes, even when I get an idea, I do not write it down because I think it sounds stupid, might not make sense to others, or that it is not long enough to make a full paragraph. I try to get unstuck by thinking of ideas that are somewhat related to what I am writing about. Sometimes, when I am clueless on what to write next, I just erase everything and start again on a new topic. I have noticed that the postings that I had an easier time finishing were the ones about things that I did. The ones that I had a harder time were summaries about anime/books/movies. I had a hard time deciding which points were important enough to include. Even though writer's block is affecting me less now, I know that getting rid of it is impossible. There will always be subjects in which I will not have enough knowledge to produce enough information.

How do you like having a blog? How has blogging changed the way you write, the way you think, or the way you think about writing?

I have really enjoyed having a blog. I find it more convenient than turning in work on paper since it is faster and easier to edit. Since blogger organizes my posts, I can easily look back at old posts whenever I want to. Also, I really like being able to add pictures because when I look back at my postings, they look more lively and I can get a visual of what I wrote about. My writing has changed since now I am writing more compound sentences: "Ino is part of Team Ten with Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi. Their master is Asuma Sarutobi. Shikamaru uses shadows to paralyze his enemies. He is lazy and thinks everything is a drag. The ironic thing is that he has an IQ of over two hundred."( InoShikaCho)..."Other things that I did over the break were stay at home and use the computer all day,go to Sacramento, and walk around the UC Davis campus. Since I was idle most of the time, I passed the time by watching anime or going on AIM. I walked around old Scaramento which looked really old fashioned because the floors were made of wood. Inside an old schoolhouse, I saw a list of the the punishments and rules for teacher and students in the 1800s."(Winter Break). The first sentences of the quote were from my first blog post after my statement of purpose. InoShikaCho was full of simple sentences, so it made the post uninteresting and having too many sentences in a paragraph. The other sentences were from one of my recent posts in which I found many compound sentences. This gave me a sense of accomplishment that is similar to the way someone feels when you have persevered through a struggle. My way of thinking is now more reflective; by having to think of subjects to write about, I became more aware of the things that I do in my daily life instead of just passing by me. Also, my thought about writing has changed drastically over the course of this school year; I now view it as an outlet to express my feelings and as sort of a way to reflect on the way that I spend my time on and my values. I now have a positive view on writing; I used to hate writing so much because whenever I wrote, it was usually an essay about literature. I like how when I blog, I can write about anything that I want to. I think that the quickwrites in class have especially changed the way I write. By having to write continuously, I start to let my mind wander and yet somewhat stay on the topic at the same time. This has made my writing more creative and I was able to come up with ideas that surprised me.

Where do you get your ideas for blog post topics? What inspires you to write?

I get my ideas for blog post topics from the things that I like, activities that I do in my daily life, knowledge that I want to share with others, or events that I think that I will remember for the rest of my life. Sometimes I have to think really hard for a topic to write about and sometimes they just pop out of my head all of a sudden. Out of all my postings, the ones that were summaries such as Bleach, Orphan, and InoShikaCho were written because they reflect how I spend my time and the media that I expose myself to. There are many things that inspire me to write. My favorite kinds of postings were the ones in which I talked about the way I spend breaks because as I am writing I am able reflect on many of the happy memories that I had: "The resort was decorated with huge figures like a music list, bowling pins, etc. Beyond the check-in counter there was the food court which sold a variety of food like pasta, ice cream, salad, desserts..."(Disneyworld) This description takes me back to the days that I spent in Orlando, Florida this past summer that I will never forget. Thinking about the past also has me wondering about all the happy memories that await me in the future: "I hope that my future will be a happy one and that I will live a long, fulfilling life" (Dreams of the Future). These flashbacks give me an irreplaceable sense of joy that gives me a purpose for writing. Some other things that inspire me to write are great books and stories when I actually read them. I am awed at how authors can produce such amazing pieces of literature that are praised and enjoyed by many people. Apart from nostalgia, I also experience freedom when I write. Even though this has never happened to me while I was blogging, it has happened to me when I was writing in my notebook while I was at home. When I was angry, writing helped me to release my anger and feel free from the bad emotions that were engulfing me. By answering these questions, I have become aware of the progress I have made and other aspects of my writing and blogging that have never crossed my mind.