summer and next school year are approaching

As the days are getting hotter and the third quarter is ending, I'm starting to think about what classes I want to take next year. Some people have already gotten called down by their counselors. I want to get called down soon and see what classes are recommended for me. The schedule that I had mentally planned out in my head were 0 period Spanish 3, AP Calculus, English 3, APES or AP physics,and regular US history. I don't know what to take for my electives. Art is boring, I already took Current Life, and for dance I don't know how to choreograph a dance to teach the class without a partner. I am not interested in many of the electives that are offered.

I also started thinking about my plans for summer break even though its not that close to the end of the school year. Even though summer is suppose to be a time of relaxation, I want to take classes at Laney College. I plan to take Chinese 2 since I took Chinese 1 last summer. I also want to take Japanese, but it's kind of a hassle having to get a transcript. I had planned to take it last summer, but the lady at the administration's office told me that I would not be able the workload for both classes. In the end, I wished I never agreed with her that I would not be able to keep up. The Chinese class turned out to be one of the easiest classes that I ever took and the homework only took 5 minutes.

The reasons that I want to learn and improve in languages is because it helps me learn more about a certain culture. Being Chinese, I think that it is appropriate that I know my native language. I have had a good experience learning Spanish at school. With the vocabulary words that I learned I can read some store signs that I pass by on my way to my grandma's house; I feel less clueless while looking at foreign words. This makes me feel bad for immigrants that don't know the English language. I wonder how they communicate in a place where everyone speaks English and they can get easily tricked.

During the summer, I like to go on vacation. I love visiting new places because it broadens my world. The past years I have gone to LA and Florida. This year, I know that I will not be going on a trip because my sister told me that we cannot afford it due to the declining economy. But even if we could afford it, I won't be able to go out of the country which is what I really want to do. Having my parent's consent for permission to go out of the country would be a hassle since my dad is all the way in China and my mom is ill. I still hope that summer at home will be enjoyable and so will the next school year that is arriving at such a fast pace.

The Lovely Bones #2

The book continues to have many boring parts like the first eight chapters. Since the story is told from Susie's perspective, I expected that she would be more involved in the story, but all the action revolves around her family and friends on Earth. The story is getting less draggy though with Mr. Harvey mentioned more now; I feel as though it is getting closer to the climax of Susie's family proving that Mr. Harvey is the murderer. I was horrified by " Inside the house, my sister was the only living being, but she was not alone... I stood in heaven. I called there names... Jackie Meyer. Delaware, 1967. Thirteen... Flora Hernandez. Delaware, 1963. Eight..." (p205) Mr. Harvey had killed six girls and also animals in the neighbors. He must be discreet to have gotten away everytime.

This book expresses immoral events that happen daily around the world. Susie's mom cheats on her husband with Len Fenerman, a police officer that is mainly in charge of Susie's case. Even though she was in pain, it does not justify what she did. Mr. Harvey is a serial killer, who not only kills Susie, but a whole bunch of girls from Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut. Lindsey has sex with Samuel even though she is still in Junior High.

"But he stopped. He saw her running toward the elderberry. The silk-screened number on her back screamed out at him. 5! 5! 5! Lindsey Salmon in her soccer shirt." (p208) After Lindsey breaks in to Mr. Harvey's house and rips out a drawing of the cornfield that night link him to Susie's murder, she jumps out his window to escape him just in time. This part gave me some suspense. I was scared that she would get kidnapped and killed too. Since she escaped and Mr. Harvey saw her, I wonder if he will do anything to silence her.

The Lovely Bones

Considering that The Lovely Bones is a national bestseller, the first seven chapters have been a disappointment to me. I found it to be very boring to the point where I fell asleep trying to read it. I thought that there were too many parts about her family, friends and events of the past. Some parts that I thought were draggy and unnecessary were when she talked about how she used to help her father build boats in bottles and when Ruth ran into Clarisse and Brian. There is little action since all Susie does is sit in the gazebo and look down upon Earth. However, I have to applaud the author that the idea of telling a story in the afterlife is very creative approach.

"After a few days in heaven, I realized that the javelin-throwers and the shot-putters and the boys who played basketball were all in their own version of heaven."(p.18)

I had always thought of heaven as a place where everyone would see and experienced the same things, as Susie thought when she first entered after being killed by Mr. Harvey. The story also did not or at least did not mention of a God in heaven unlike what most people believe. I had never imagined Susie's type of heaven, but it would be nice if everything you liked were there and if you wished for things they would appear, with exceptions to things on Earth.

• What are your interpretations of heaven? and what would you think would be in your heaven just like how there were dogs and peppermint stick ice cream in Susie's?
  

I hope that the story will get more interesting. I also hope that and have a hunch that Mr. Harvey will get caught in the end. By, what means, I have no idea and am curious to find out.

Should Euthanasia be legal?

The debate topic this week in my modern world history class is "Should euthanasia be legal?".
When I first heard my teacher say euthanasia, I and a lot of other people thought that he said
"youth in Asia." Later on I found out the real word and that it means physician-assisted suicide. I had a hard time reading the information I found at procon.org.;I did not understand this one thing about slippery slope. After spending hours on it, this is what I have:

PROS

Euthanasia should be legal because people have the right to choose death. Right to life includes a right to death. The American Civil Liberties says that a ban on euthanasia interferes with a person's liberties. By granting a person the right to choose death, the person has a choice and can exercise his/her rights and choose not to use it. Also, euthanasia will greatly reduce health care spending. The money saved can be used of other things or for others that have definite chances of survival.

Euthanasia is justified when life becomes excruciatingly painful and is no longer beneficial to the patient. Those that are ill with a terminal disease have torrent ahead of them; the disease will kill them slowly to the point where they lose their identity and can not even be considered alive. They might be brain dead,but yet their heart is still beating with the help of modern technology. Euthanasia is more humane than removing life support. I read this piece of information where it was decided to let this person die. Since euthanasia was not legalized, life support was removed and she died from starvation. A physician-assisted death helps grant the patient an easy death. It is more humane to let people choose how they want to end their life. Physicians know the amounts of dosages of certain drugs to provide a painless death.

CONS

Euthanasia should not be made legal. It interferes with religious beliefs; it is not a natural death as God intended. According to Wesley Smith, a consultant of the International Anti-Euthanasia Task Force, Euthanasia interferes with the equality-of -human-life ethic, in which the protection of human life is society's primary priority. Physicians should not be directly involved in the death of an individual. It would have them break the Hippocratic Oath they gave to never give poison to a person. Also, it does not make sense for a physician to help a person commit suicide because their primary role is to be a healer according to the American Medical Association.

Euthanasia is usually for patients with terminal diseases and only six months to live. It would be more reasonable to let them live for those months since it is not very long and modern medicine can relieve pain. That way they would be able to spend that time with their family. When the patient has the poison in hand, it encourages doctors to not care for the patients properly. They find no motive to care for the patient since they will die soon.

The Handsome Siblings 小魚兒與花無缺

The Handsome Siblings is one of my favorite Chinese dramas of all time. I remember it aired on channel 26 in the US when I was in sixth grade. I recorded all the episodes and watched them over and over again. There has been many drama versions of this story such as The Legendary Siblings cast in 1999 and The Amazing Twins cast in 2002 with Alec Su and Jimmy Lin. The drama is based on a novel by Gu Long. Even though the plot and the actors were superb, the ending was depressing though because only three of the characters are alive in the end.

The drama is focused on two brothers separated at birth. Their parents were killed by the Moon Princess of the Floral Palace. She loved their father, Jiang Feng, and even cared for him while his life was in danger, but he ran away with a maid. Jiang Feng stayed with a friend that betrayed him and revealed his whereabouts. The brothers were about to be killed too, but the Star Princess suggested a better idea to her sister. One of the twins, Xiao Yu Er, was given to their brother's friend to raise. The princess took the other baby, Hua Wu Que, and raised him in the Floral Palace. The Moon Princess's plan was that when they grew up they would fight and kill each other.

Eighteen years later, the brothers meet and become friends, unaware that they are brothers. Hua Wu Que meets Tie Xin Lan and falls in love with her. But due to a worm inserted inside him by his masters, his heart is being eaten by the worm whenever he feels affection. The masters find out that he has fallen in love and attempts to kill Tie Xin Lan. She is hit with the Broken Heart Palm and almost dies. Xiao Yu Er sneaks into the Mu Rong household, where he falls in love with Mu Rong Xian. The two friends faced many obstacles, but with the support of one another they were able to go on with life. Eventually, they find out of their blood relations which further strengthened their bond.

Mu Rong Xian is eventually killed by the evil Eunuch Liu who sucked out her life force in attempt to learn one of the most powerful types of martial arts. Su Ying, a famous doctor, falls in love with Xiao Yu Er, but keeps her feelings to herself. She dies later by a bite from a poisonous plant. Xiao Yu Er and Hua Wu Que's greatest enemy was Jiang Yu Yan, the daughter of a well-known martial artist. She loves Hua Wu Que, but he doesn't feel the same way about her. In her pursuit to gain his love, she becomes the concubine of the king and eventually kills his lover, masters, and all others dear to him and Xiao Yu Er. With all those around them dead, the two brothers team up for a final battle with her.

French Imperialism in Indochina

Two weeks ago in my history class, there was a project on Imperialism. I was in a group with Elaine, Priscilla, and Grant. We wanted to do British Imperialism in China, but another group got it before us. I was running up to the teacher to the get that topic, but I was not fast enough and before we could decide on our second choice, all the easier topics were already taken. In the end, we had to do French Imperialism in Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam. I was really frustrated because there wasn't much information in the history books on it.

For the project, each group had to present ten components of their topic. It could be on a poster board or for creativeness, it could be on a 3-D object. The topics include a time line, cause and effect chart, top 10 reasons for colonization,etc. I did the cause and effect chart, showed what Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam had that France wanted, a report on the current problems of the region, and I also made a mini pagoda to display the info.

Through this project, I was able to learn a lot about imperialism. In the early 1900s, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam were known as Indochina. The reason that the French wanted this region was because they wanted control of more land; they wanted to rival their enemy, Britain. Also, they wanted valuable resources such as rubber, rice, cotton, oil, and timber that was abundant in the region. With control of Vietnam, they would be able to secure a route to trade with Inner China. The event that sparked the invasion of France into Vietnam was when the Vietnamese killed French missionaries. They killed them because they felt threatened by foreign influence.

The French took over the region and forced them to trade with them. Knowing that what they were doing were wrong,the French tried to back up their actions by using the idea of Social Darwinism. Because of nationalistic values, they believed that they were superior to other ethnicities. They claimed that they were doing a good thing by imposing their "superior" culture and beliefs on the people of Indochina.

The most tiring part of the project was making the pagoda. Luckily, I had access to a cardboard cutter. That was able to save hours of time. I stayed up til 2AM working on it, making sure that it looked realistic and that the pieces were the right size. I was so tired that I woke up late and missed 0 period PE. Priscilla, also tried to make one, but in the end, we used mines. I felt kind of bad because she worked harder that me on it; she stayed up til 4AM and she also started making it a day before me. Also ,she had to buy the Styrofoam materials and it must have been tiring cutting it with scissors.The hard work was worth it though. Our project got a 225/200, so we all got extra credit.

Between God and Secular Ways

I clearly remember a youth winter retreat to Sierra House, a building owned by Gracepoint Fellowship Church, a church that I used to attend. The retreat took place in the beginning of the February of 2009. During that trip, I made a decision that would change the course of my life in a way greater than I could have ever imagined. I had attended church for five years, but I never made the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Being one of the only non-Christians in the youth group, I felt isolated and I was unable to relate to others. I knew deep down in my heart that God existed and that he loved me very much; I felt God's love for me through the love that I received from my youth teachers. My specific youth teacher was Teacher Mina. I knew that she really cared about me; she would give me rides to bible study and back home, prayed for me, talked to me when I had problems, and also hung out with me. The type of people that I met at Gracepoint proved the existence of a God. Nowhere else had I ever met such genuine people; they choose to put others needs over theirs.

Being convicted by the messages that I heard, I really wanted to establish a personal relationship with God. There was one thing that acted as a barrier between me and God though; I failed to confess my sins to others. I knew that if I confessed my wrongdoings, I would face rejection and be viewed as a freak. I questioned myself which was more important, my short life on this earth or my eternity after death. I tried to convince myself that this life was umimportant compared to eternity and that confessing my sins would release of my painful burden of guilt. No matter how much I argued in my head, the result was always the same. I knew that confessing would change my life for the better, but I was too afraid. I felt utterly helpless: stuck at a fork in the road. In the previous years that I went to church, I never really thought of the seriousness of my sins; I knew that I did bad things, but I never thought of it as a big deal. In the beginning, I only went to church to have fun and to pass my Sundays. Once I transferred from Joyland to youth, I started reflecting more on my life. T. Mina had talked to me on a previous retreat. She told me that I would really experience god work in my life if I would only open up my heart. She even said that she wished that she could take my burden for me. But, she couldn't. I knew on the last night of the retreat that I could not stay in indecision. I chose not to go to church anymore and push God out of my life. I was too cowardly to tell T.Mina in person, so I asked my friend to tell her for me.

I still do not know whether I made that right decision or not. Almost every single day, I still think about God. I think that now I have fallen into a state of depression. I feel as if my life has no meaning anymore; I feel as though I am just waiting for the days to pass until I die. I have developed bad habits of overeating, isolating myself, insomnia, and not doing my homework sometimes. I have lost interest in materialistic things; I have cleaned out a large portion of my room and it is almost completely empty now. I try to smile when I talk to others, but I know that inside, I'm not really as happy as I appear to be. I have come to realize how fake my pretense in being happy is. Being overwhelmed in guilt and self-pity, I always wish that somehow I would lose all my bad memories. I said that I made a decision to abandon the Christian values that I learned at church, but I feel as if I am still in indecision. I still have a tinge of hope that miraculously one day I will be a real Christian, but I know that it will NEVER happen.